is it really worth it to keep trying and going through all this pain if the most unrealistic best case still leaves me trying to survive in a world that wants me dead for being such an evil zoo/pedo apologist, where so much hate is so universally normalized that trying to go against it is hopeless, where I’ll never have any hope of being welcome in any of the “normal” communities I’d want to be a part of because of who I am

and the actually realistic outcome is that this won’t stop happening no matter what I do, that every single person I try to be friends with will cut me off in the end, that I’ll never be able to reconnect with the people who already have, that I’ll be forced to survive in this world alone, for the rest of my life, with absolutely no support at all, never being able to move on from the people I let myself become dependent on and only continuing to accumulate more and more regrets

I keep trying my best, but things only keep getting even worse

my future is still just as dependant on people who want nothing to do with me and probably never will

I’m still constantly being told that the only way forward is to have done better in the past

still being reminded over and over that it’s impossible for me to have a normal life

still waiting for a single good thing to happen to me like I have been for the past 7 years

wha

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