doll that is realizing
it was probably.. Not pleasant to be around, in the past
>->

part of it realizing that this may be why some entities didnt interact with it… that it was too . caustic(?) back then.
…honestly, the worst part is, it doesnt blame them. after looking at some of its posts from back then…. ouch. >->

…its a strange feeling though.
this one doesnt wanna play the “ouhh, i was shitty” self-flagellation game because… it always just feels awful to this one, even to see from the outside, honestly.
dislikes the notion that one would have to call one’s past self “bad” to be able to… move on.
it was . understandable. this one knows why it was Like That. it was in a lot of pain.
yet… haah… it couldnt have come off as an entity that would be pleasant to be around, could it?
or… friendly at all, maybe. >->

it… at least its managed to change, a bit. to.. get out of that awful pit.

…it feels strange about “apologies”.
is this that?
it doesnt know.
…but it hopes that .
any entity reading this
if you, or that one(?), thought this one would be unpleasant to interact with, based on what it was like pre-july 2024…
it doesnt blame you.
it just .
hopes that you’re willing to look at its vibes now, and… “give it another chance”?
or at least . look at it, and its vibes now, and consider it based on that instead.
,,,awawa.

;w;

@azalea
when nova thinks of our past, we do our best to look with the mindset of "we were doing the best we could have at the time" , but that means we have to forgive others who have hurt us because . we've done things just as bad . and yea that can make it really hard to not think "we were a bad person"

@november yeah,,,,, q.q ;w;

ironically- hah dkfjjs
it feels fucky having this post be perceived
it doesnt feel anymore like its a very accurate representation of azalea [or ever was at all tbh]
just a.. “paranoid someone hates it because of it feeling very Ow in the past” . and being mindfucked about how social media makes people assume no one ever changes…
awawa q.q,, ;w;

but . yeah, real
awawa,, ;w;

@azalea

i remember telling somemousie important to me, "i've changed a lot, i'm doing a lot better. see, i'm doing <x>, <y>, and <z> now!" and she said to me "no... i mean yes you're doing that now but you're not doing better in the ways that matter"

- 🐭