I keep trying my best, but things only keep getting even worse

my future is still just as dependant on people who want nothing to do with me and probably never will

I’m still constantly being told that the only way forward is to have done better in the past

still being reminded over and over that it’s impossible for me to have a normal life

still waiting for a single good thing to happen to me like I have been for the past 7 years

it just won’t stop… why won’t it stop… when is it going to stop…

what does anyone expect from me…

why can’t I stop it, why can’t I have the ability to change the past, why can’t I do anything right, why can’t I do anything right